KNOCK AT THE CABIN

Nothing new in this snoozy M. Night Shyamalacolypse.

Are there any real M. Night Shyamalan fans left out there or are we all doing some form of hate watching at this point? Even when the twists are mildly entertaining, as is the case with Knock at the Cabin, they’re so on the nose and inelegantly presented it’s embarrassing. Shyamalan made one great movie 24 years ago and has brought pretty much nothing but garbage to the runway ever since. Throw another one on the pile.

The major mystery of Knock at the Cabin is obvious early into the first act. That doesn’t stop our Christlike protagonist from spelling it out in painful detail at the movie’s climax. It’s the equivalent of ‘if you have to explain your joke it’s probably not that funny.’ There’s a bit more action than usual and the stakes are apocalyptically high but it all just wraps up into an unsatisfying and kinda dumb conclusion.

There are okay performances by Jonathan Groff and Ben Aldridge as a couple whose love is uniquely perfect and pure. Or so we told. If you say so Shyamalan. I applaud the casting of LQBT actors in LGBT roles but the lack of chemistry between these two made the film’s central conceit a bit tough to swallow. But they are individually charming and likable enough to carry us through this slog of a story.

The four strangers that kick off the story’s events are hit and miss in their color coded apocryphal characters. Dave Bautista is a big, very big, cringe inducing miss, giving major ‘linebacker giving the drama club a try’ energy. He’s great in Guardians of the Galaxy as the emotionless, oblivious Drax but not so great in his estimation of actual human feelings or behavior. Stick to the MCU, Davey. And direct from The Burrow, Mr Ronald Weasley himself, it’s Rupert Grint and it’s hard to tell what’s worse, his character’s attitude or sketch Southern accent. I’m not here to read Ron the icon, he’s actually quite good in this brief, bombastic role.

Another Brit, Nikki Amuka-Bird, is the strongest in the cast, her theatre background and commanding presence serving the melodramatic stakes well. And Abby Quinn fills out the foursome with a sensitive, capable performance. Overall the cast does their best to save a ham-handed, confusing screenplay but it just isn’t enough. It all amounts to a resounding, bored eye roll.

I wouldn’t recommend this one. I didn’t connect with any part of it. For a film about the end of the world it’s a big snooze.